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Greg Gregicurus
GregGregicurus.PNG|Greg Gregicurus GregGregicurus3.PNG|Greg Gregicorous GregGregicurus2.PNG|Greg's Grave Origin In an episode of Minecraft Quick Build Challenge Classic on the topic of 'machinery', Rage decided to build a futuristic cyborg enhancement facility and whilst building it he attempted to tell an impromptu story off of the top of his head. The convoluted origin story he told was about the owner of the facility named Greg Gregicurus and the various accidents he got into that caused him to get robot replacement limbs. Also, for some reason, the occupations of the parents and grandparents in the story would rapidly change throughout. Rage ended the story with Greg becoming the facility owner just as he finished the build. The story of Greg Gregicurus has become a well known tale amongst the fandom. First Story: Transcript Now if you'd like to know about the owner of this facility, well, he's called Greg. Now Greg always dreamed when he was a child of being a robot enhancement facility owner because after all when he was a child he fell into the most dangerous of situations and required many robot replacement limbs. Now, what happened to poor Greg was one day on a miking (yes a miking expedition not a hiking as I was originally going to say but I'm now rolling with miking) he went on miking expedition and in this miking expedition, he rocked the mic so hard with such furious raps, such like powerful MC grace, that his lips fell off. Yeah, he rapped so hard his lips fell off. So, while he was rapping like really, really hard... you know with his like 'I'm Greg! You're a dreg! I am the rapper!'. In the future rap's dead a little bit so it doesn't take that much to be a good rapper as it stands so that's why that was considered really, really good rapping. So yeah, so he's Greg, the opponent was a dreg in the future. So he rapped really hard and his lips fell off. So he went to go get cybernetic lips. Now what cybernetic lips are, are really quite good because they allow you to have the jaw strength of a small great white shark and Greg loved this because his parents were marine biologists - futuristic marine biologists - so they of course studied bionic animals because in the future the human race replaced every animal with a bionic version of the animal because we thought "You know what? It's not dangerous enough. Let's try and cause an apocalypse because then we can fight off bionic animals and generally have a good time, having a good time, having a good time". So bionic animals were a thing, The agencies didn't really like it because they thought it was abusing animals but then they shut up when the government had them killed because of course in the future the government has the power to have people killed because it is, as I said: the dictatorship of Ragica. (You see how that's come together?) So Greg and his parents were fighting bionic sharks one day and he lost a limb to a bionic shark. So he'd rapped so hard that his lips had fallen off and then on top of that, while- the thing is, it's actually kind of ironic because he couldn't shout for help from the bionic shark because his lips had fallen off. So he was just there going 'MmMmmM! MMM!' because for some reason Greg needed his lips to speak which is not actually a true thing for humans but for the purposes of my story, it now is. So, Greg was there not being able to call for help while fighting off this bionic shark and effectively what happened is he lost his arm, which meant he needed more bionic replacement limbs. So his parents finally agreed that he did need bionic replacement limbs which were quite cheap in the future because everyone has them because they make everyone superheroes because of course, when everyone is super, no one is. So he went to a organic facility. He went to a organic facility, not the bionic facility. That's later on - the bionic - in the story. Now this was ironic, because he'd lost an arm, he wasn't yet capable to properly carry a bag of organic cereal that his cybernetic animal marine biologist parents were purchasing. So what he did right was he half picked one up and realized it was too much for his one arm, dropped the bag of incredibly heavy Iron filing cereal, because we're all bad asses in the future, and then ended up crushing his foot. So now hes missing an arm, he rapped so hard his lips came off and now hes also not got a foot. So as you can see right, Greg really started off his early life on the wrong foot. Don't worry that was an armless joke. So he finally convinced his parents to allow him to go to the facility and he finally arrived and he walked into the limb replacement facility and generally was considered an all around great patient. The secretary thought he was great. I mean what was unfortunate is that although the secretary thought he was great which was of course a good thing to get along with other humans, it turns out in the future you're allowed to hire complete psychos to do work which basically meant that the secretary stabbed him a little. So hes rapped so hard his lifts came off- He lost his lifts cause of course his grand parents were mechanical engineers who made futuristic lifts and basically one day Greg was in one of those lifts and the lift came off and he was like 'Nooo! Grandparents!' and then he fell and he lost his other arm. So at this point hes in a real- I don't know how hes still alive really. Greg was a good-en. He really was hard to kill was Greg. You know whats hes like is Greg. You know Greg. You know Greg, God! Okay so yeah he's in a bad state so he finally gets to this receptionist who has also stabbed him so he needs replacement organs now and everything so he thinks 'Fuck it! Full Cyborg me!'. So he goes through the very facility that he now owns (which is what I'm building right now.) and gets the best limbs and the best treatment hes ever had. So from that moment onwards, he disregards his parents dreams that he follows in their footsteps and becomes a professional future ballplayer and decides that 'You know what I'm going to own my own limb correction facility and it's going to be absolutely amazing'. So that's indeed what Greg does and that's the story of Greg the owner of this facility everyone. I think you can all clearly see how Greg came to be, his tragic backstory. The- The- The lowest- I don't know! I'm so sorry! and now Greg Gregory Gregicurus is now the owner of the facility." Fish Spider Industries Shrine In an episode of Fish Spider Industries Rage, while running on little to no sleep, decided to add a random shrine to Greg Gregicurus in a cave on his FSI map. While building this shrine, Rage told an improv story of Greg joining Fish Spider industries to explore caves and his eventual death at the hands of the dreaded Fish Spiders. Second Story: Transcript "One day Greg Gregicurus, After deciding that the limb replacement biz was not for him, went on to join the cave spelunking course. Now he heard that Fish Spider Industries a relatively large cooperation run by the CEO RageGaming of AwesomeTown (Hes from AwesomeTown. Don't question him.) So, Greg Gregicurus after seeing the job application in the Fish Spider Industries recruitment newspaper decided that yes he can be the best spelunker they've ever had. So they hired him to map out the cave system of the Spider Queen and you know initially he was a bit skeptical. He was like 'Are you sure this is safe? Do I really want to be going into the lair of the Spider Queen?' and to be fair to him it was a valid concern but don't worry the employers at Fish Spider Industries, The evil recruitment, The worst human resources you've ever seen in a facility were like 'Yeah, Its totes going to be fine super mega special awesome!' and then Greg being the happy-go-lucky chappy he was with his super professional bowling player parents, they encouraged him. They were too busy off on their life as super rich mega gambler stars to care about what he did really so they were like 'Yeah! Go for it Greg Gregicurus! What could go wrong?' and now begins the tragic tale of Greg Gregicurus's death. (Yeah, I know. Spoilers. Spoilers.) So what he did ladies and dentlemen- Ladies and dentists, He was in the caves, he was mapping them out, he was great but then this very chest here was his undoing. He saw a light in the cave. He was in the caves mapping out. It was all going well. This was his final leg before his payday and he noticed a light and the most disturbing creature you have ever fucking seen and then he saw a chest. Now this was not the state in which he saw the chest for the chest was guarded. This part of the cave had been taken over by the spiders and Greg Gregicurus wanted this chest, He wanted it so bad and he tried to get it. Its not the most epic of stories really. Him and his zoo animal handlers (thats what they call zoo employees) granparents were spelunking. His grandparents are with him now. I don't know why his grandparents are with him but apparently they're with him. Lucy and Susan (Yes both his grandparents are women apparently. I don't know really whats my life right now.) So, his grandparents, Lucy and Susan (Susans the guy.) they have Greg Gregicurus's parents. Well, one of them. They didn't have both of them otherwise this gets a little bit weird and obviously Greg Gregicurus was produced- produced on a factory line, yep. Maybe that's the twist. Hes all bionic. Maybe that's why he yearned to be a bionic limb replacer and then by all accounts, he got the spelunking job apparently with his grandparents, went spelunking, saw a chest. A light in the darkness and in his effort to get the chest he was attacked by the Fish Spiders he so feared. Greg Gregicurus was no more and it was all very sad and his parents mourned him while on vacation from their exclusive life as diving instructors and hes- he was- He's dead. Hes really dead. His grandparents remains were never found. He did have a period of his life where he did work for Darth Vader as a Stormtrooper along with his Jedi parents and Sith grandparents. Family reunions were not fun placed to be but they were fucking epic! The Battles! but that's a story for another time. The story of Stormtrooper Greg Gregicurus with his epic battles between his surprisingly spry grandparents and weirdly opposite side of the coin parents. Its an interesting family with many careers." Spelling Confusion In the original Quick Build Challenge video, Rage spelt the name as 'Greg Gregicurus' but since then he has written it many different ways, such as 'Gregacorious' or 'Gregicorous'. Viewers in the comment section often have trouble spelling the name and cannot, obviously, look it up because 'Gregicurus' is not an actual name in any language. Despite Rage's fickle spelling, the original is accepted as the correct version. Category:Running Jokes